Tough Times, Good Times

I never did get to try fugu, or even eat at the intended sushi bar. I did go to Osaka, Den Den town, but it took Johnny and I a while to find it. We got off at the wrong stop, and wandered for a while. We went through Shinsaibashi's shotengai, and it was not stop shops among a river of people. We found the festival but only got to enjoy it for for about 15 minutes. We saw some authentic Japanese cos-players, and got caught up in the rush of a four lane street's worth of people squished into two sidewalks. Fun. The rest of break kinda sucked.
On Friday, I lost a good friend to suicide. I was in shock, she was one of the happiest people I know. My girlfriend broke the news to me about Katie, and we grieved together. It really helped being able to talk with her, it softened the blow a bit. As much as I want to be back with all my friends now to share the memories, it is impossible. I am on the far side of the globe, and so was Katie. She was abroad this semester in India, so the news hit close to my heart. We often confided in each other about the preparations, deadlines, stress, and excitement that coincide with study abroad. We were Craft Center buddies, CRC comrades, and abroad confidants.

Katie was the person who brought out the artist in me. She was the reason I felt comfortable expressing myself in the Craft Center. I spent a lot of time in there last semester, and I would often go in during her shifts to keep things interesting. Through Katie I became friends with others who worked there, especially her boss Paula. Katie would always play my musical requests, and we would rock out together. She was always willing to help anyone, regardless of what it was. She even taught me how to silk screen T-Shirts (her specialty). I remember Paula raving about how bummed she was to lose her best silk screener, and precious employee. I always stood behind Katie's desire to go abroad (for obvious reasons) and would explain to Paula that she would be back. I wish I wasn't wrong. I performed my first open mic in the Craft Center, with Katie and Adiva as MCs. When I realized my guitar was out of tune 1 min into my performance, I stopped and looked to her for help. Like the good friend she was, I got back on to the stage ASAP. Thanks to Katie, the Craft center was nothing but good times that I will never forget. I want to work there even more now, and carry on where she left off.

Last semester was also Katie's first semester as a full fledged CRC member, she lived, ate, slept, and breathed with us. Needless to say we all felt that she was a valued member of the group. Her presence was much appreciated. On Cabin Trip she was the resident photographer, and documented one of the best times of my life. Katie took the best photo my girlfriend and I have of us together, it is her's and our favorite. We spent a lot of time together that trip. We stayed up on the mountain long after everyone else returned to the cabin. While returning, seven of us merrily skipped together down the acess road. Katie was taking pictures the whole time and I love her for that. I will always have documentation of my happiest memory. I laughed my self to tears when Steph, Katie, and I were all skipping in unison. Truly an amazing moment. That same night Mollie, Ben, Katie and I snuck down to her car to listen to music. We blasted music, and Ben made a strobe light out of his flashlight. We all rocked out. I remember thinking about how we were the loudest thing for at least a mile. Some rowdy kids causing a disturbance in the middle of nowhere. Hands down the best Cabin Trip to date.

As I recall all the hellish worrying that ultimately brought me to Japan, Katie is there sitting next to me at the financial aid sessions, holding that huge tan mug with the earth foods sticker on it drinking her mint cocoa concoction. (That is another thing she taught me, how to make an awesome cocoa drink.) As deadlines approached I would confide in her about my financial situations, and her to me. We always shared the same excitement for the coming spring semester, we pumped each other up and it was good. One thing I was sure of was that we would both make it back in one piece, there were never any worries. Perhaps that is one flaw that was fatal. I will never know, too many "if"s.

A few days before her death I was looking at all of Katie's wonderful pictures on Facebook, recalling our good times and catching up on her progress in India. I was thinking about how awesome next semester would be. We would share our stories and have a blast. I can't express how much I already miss those times that now will never happen. Although we only became close during last semester, it was close enough for me to write all I did. We were close enough for me to want more of her friendship, and I am truly sorry it ends here. I thank Katie for being awesome, and making me cherish my friends all the more.
Here is me looking at you, one moment that only you and I shared. I remember it vividly, always.